Waving bye-bye is more than a cute social ritual — it’s a window into how your baby understands and participates in communication. Most babies begin waving between 9 and 12 months as part of a cluster of gestures that signal healthy social development. When waving is absent alongside other early skills, it can be an important early indicator of autism spectrum disorder.
When not waving bye-bye is a red flag for autism
Waving is a proto-communicative gesture — a pre-verbal way of sharing meaning with another person. It develops as part of a critical triad of social gestures that includes pointing and showing, all of which reflect joint attention: the ability to share focus and interest with another person. The M-CHAT autism screening tool used at 12- and 18-month well visits specifically asks about waving because its absence, especially alongside missing pointing and showing, is one of the earliest and most reliable autism indicators available to clinicians. Children who are developing typically begin imitating waving by around 9 months and use it spontaneously by 12 months. See the full list of early signs on our autism signs overview page.
That said, waving alone is not a diagnosis. Some typically developing babies are later wavers — up to 14 or 15 months — especially if their environment hasn’t offered many goodbye moments to imitate. The concern rises sharply when waving is absent AND other signs are present: no pointing, inconsistent name response, reduced eye contact, or no back-and-forth babbling. It’s the cluster of missing skills, not any single one, that most reliably points toward autism. If you’re seeing multiple gaps at once, don’t wait for the next well visit — request a screening now and consider beginning the evaluation process in NJ.
What to do if you’re worried — and how ABA can help
If your 12-month-old isn’t waving and you’re noticing other gaps in social communication, the best thing you can do is seek evaluation promptly. Ask your pediatrician to complete the M-CHAT-R/F at your next visit or call ahead and request a formal developmental screening. In New Jersey, children under 3 who show developmental delays can be evaluated through the Early Intervention program and receive services — including speech and ABA — even before a diagnosis is confirmed. You can learn more about the autism evaluation process in NJ on our site.
Building gestures like waving, pointing, and showing is a core focus of early ABA therapy. Applied Behavior Analysis uses structured, play-based strategies to teach joint attention and proto-communicative gestures in a way that feels natural and fun for young children. At Autumn ABA, we provide in-home therapy across New Jersey so children can learn in the environment where they’re most comfortable. Contact us for a free consultation to find out whether our program is right for your child, or explore our parent resources for more information.
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Schedule a free consultation Our ABA programs →Frequently asked questions
My baby waves occasionally but not every time — is that enough?
Occasional waving is a better sign than no waving at all, but consistency matters. By 12 months, typically developing babies wave fairly reliably in goodbye contexts — not every single time, but most of the time when prompted or when they see someone leaving. If your baby’s waving is very rare or only happens in one specific context, it’s worth discussing with your pediatrician, especially alongside any other signs you’ve noticed.
Could it just be that my baby is shy or introverted?
Shyness is a personality trait that emerges later and looks different from what we see in autism. A shy baby typically still notices people and social situations — they just hang back or cling to caregivers. What we look for in autism is a difference in the underlying social attention and motivation systems, not just social hesitance. If your baby seems unaware of or uninterested in social interaction — rather than just cautious — that’s a different picture that deserves evaluation.
This page is general educational information, not medical advice. Every child is different — a BCBA can assess your child’s specific needs. Autumn ABA serves families in all 21 NJ counties; see where we provide ABA therapy.